Why Do Men Engage With Companionship Services?

Recently I asked you these questions on my twitter account @bellapetite5.

Tell me more about why you engage with Companionship Services?

Why are our services important to you?

What does it mean for you to have access to our services?

And you replied.

There was 1 main reason for asking you this question. I have listened to you deeply on an individual basis over the years as to all the different reasons for why you engage in Companionship Services.

I wanted to collect a collective view from you because I see and hear regularly the anxiety, worry and concern that you express to me about “what kind of person am I for doing this, especially if I have a partner.” And to be frank (instead of Bella) it made me feel sad. “There is nothing wrong with you.” I think quietly to myself when I hear this.

That’s hard stuff to be sitting with, right?

Yes, that is hard stuff to be sitting with and it doesn’t go away. Now, I’m not here to throw you a magic pill to ease your mind or try to make you feel better, but I am here to assist in removing some tragically negative embedded stigma around men and sex.

So, let’s go.

For the purpose of keeping your confidentiality in its full integrity I have slightly but carefully altered your responses so not to quote you word for word.

Tell me more about why you engage with Companionship Services?

Without them I would be miserable.

I don’t have to deal with the head fuck of online dating.

I don’t know what women want, this is easier.

I enjoy their company.

My partner doesn’t really like sex.

My partner is ill/dying so we don’t have a sex life anymore.

My partner died.

We don’t have the same sex drive.

I was badly burnt by my last relationship.

I want to practice pleasing a woman.

I think my partner would think that I was dirty if I told her what I really like.

I just want to feel close to someone.

I travel so much for work and it really helps me destress.

Why are our services important to you?

It has saved my life to be with someone like you.

I can relax.

I don’t get judged for wanting sex or having my fantasies.

It actually helped my relationship.

It saved my marriage.

It’ just that touch, it really helps my depression.

This is my way of being with someone, that should be my choice to make.

People think it’s all about sex, it’s much more for me, it’s the conversations, I need the conversations.

It keeps me sane

What does it mean for you to have access to our services?

I know it sounds the opposite, but it means my family are happier. Don’t judge me on that, it just works.

It means more than we probably care to let you know.

It means I can start dating girls with confidence about how to navigate their bodies.

Its filling a gap until I’m ready to meet someone new.

It means I can try new things without upsetting or offending anyone.

Can’t really find words for that Bella. It means a lot.

I have heard these reasons Over and Over and Over plus many others.

Now, I don’t know about you but I’m certainly not reading anywhere here, things like, I don’t care about my wife or partner, sex is all that matters to me, I just want to have sex, sexy is that answer to everything, I am engaging in your services because I only want sex, I’m only into young girls with big firm tits, I like em young.

Predominantly, I’m not hearing that, much at all.

What I am hearing is, “I’m human, I’m complex with complex needs like everyone else. I want physical companionship like everyone else. I want to feel safe to express my desires like everyone else, I want to know that I’m ok, like everyone else.

In all the years I have had the privilege of providing these services, I have never, not once, ever heard a man utter the words that he does not love his wife or partner.

I have met many men who remain in commitment to their wives last dying breath. They have moved heaven and earth to make sure she is well looked after, loved and cherished. And yes, sometimes those men come to see me to have their needs meet in return where, for what ever reasons, at home, they can not be meet. And they leave happy.

I am woman who has a background in Social Science, Social Policy, Formal International Federation Life Coach Training and grass roots Social Work. I mention this because I am well trained and experienced to see where a deeper conversation around societal issues are needed. And the stigma around men’s sexuality including who they are perceived to be as men in direct relation to sex is grotesquely and unfairly misunderstood in our society.

Perhaps the next questions could be something like,

Let’s hear from the men…

In a perfect world, how would you like men to be perceived in relation to sex and intimacy?

If you would like to answer that question privately, please do so at

I hope this piece of writing has helped share some transparency for you and allowed you to recognise you are not alone, that infact, there are many of you who engage in Companionship Services for very importnat reasons and are not at all shallow.

With warm regards

Bella Petite

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